Face It - Nail Art is In!

Sister Luna sent me some ideas for nail ideas below.  Perhaps a bit too outlandish and time consuming for my taste. 

At first I thought she was sending me Obama nails; after mentioning this to her, she promptly sent me the following:

 

The faces looked so easy, I figured I'd try it.  What do you think? 

 

 

Real Housewives vs. Football

Although he protests, Michael is becoming a fan of the Real Housewives episodes I enjoy so much - Atlanta, New Jersey, Miami, New York, etc.  He'll complain every time I turn it to Bravo; however, he's the first one to shush me when the show returns after the commercials so he is able to hear.  He has also picked up on all the characters with his comments "Oh, Theresa says Melissa was a stripper", or "Oh yeah, there's Aviva with her fake leg!"

However, there is a trade off.  I'm able to enjoy my Housewives but then Michael is able to enjoy his football as well as instruct me on the finery's of the game.  How many downs, how many yards, penalties, fumbles, etc.  So many details to remember!  Perhaps thinking of my Housewives will make the task easier:

*New Orleans winless record = Theresa being shut out by the rest of the New Jersey wives;
*Kicker misses field goal  = Aviva calling Sonja and Ramona "white trash";
*Wife leaves Chad Johnson/Ochocinco for cheating = Louann cheats on Jacques with Johnny Depp look-alike in St. Barts;
*The Lambeau Leap = Sonja sauced jumping naked into the pool;
*Troy Palamalo's million dollar hair insurance policy = the vast number of hair extensions on both Housewives OC as well as Atlanta.

TGIF!!!

Hello Kitty!!

Diva Adriana has become a real expert in painting nail fashion.  One of her latest creations is a Hello Kitty nail.  Isn't it cute?  Can't wait until my nails grow stronger and longer; right now I think I'd fit part of a Hello Kitty eye on my nail and that would be it!

 

I Did a Bad, Bad Thing

I did a bad thing at the doctor's office the other day but I just couldn't help myself!

After getting my flu shot, the nurse opened a drawer and pulled out a GLITTER band aid for my arm.  They were to die for!!!  So, sneaky devil that I am, once she left the room I snuck back into the drawer and grabbed a few for the road.  Yes it was wrong but oh so worth it!!

Yesterday vs. Today

During lunch today, my boss mentioned that his 8-year old daughter was newly into "Monster High" dolls.  Hmmm....I had never heard of them.  I remember the type of dolls I played with when I was in grade school:

Well, look at the dolls the grade school girls are playing with today:

These are the Monster High dolls!  Whoa!!  Times sure have changed!
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Diva Day at the Mall

The way they look is fab but knocking a couple off is not fun.  I'm talking about my acrylic nails.  One became cracked so I removed it via 100% accetone and my nail clippers; another one painfully was ripped off my finger when I caught it in a latch.  Big ouch.   And blood.  This led to my decision to have them removed, which occurred Saturday.

Michael and I made our way to the local mall for the nail extrapolation procedure.  However, our first stop was at the hair salon.  My hair needed a serious trim; as is my life, I'm once again trying to grow my locks out.  But it needed some serious shaping and thinning.  Thick hair is a blessing and a curse; it grows but can easily expand into fro-territory.

New color - not cut - like this

After explaining my hair needs, Audry trimmed my hair.  During the cut, there was a hair color picture that drew my attention. It called me.  It sang to me.  Must get hair colored, it spoke.  And I listened.  When Audrey was done snipping, and after consulting with Michael, the hair dye decision was done!  She said it would only take 1.50 hours but the blond and brown color application became more like two hours.  It then became apparent that my Michael has the patience of Job!  He sat.  He waited.  He rolled his eyes a time or two, especially at the behavior of Audrey's co-workers.  It was worth the wait as my hair turned out beyond fab!  Great color, super cut and Michael survived.

We then made our way to the opposite end of the mall in order to have my nails removed.  A little bit of soaking, a tad of filing, and the job was done.  Gone were the beautiful long talons, replaced with chubby stubbies! 

After a late lunch at Izzy's, we made our way home where we promptly took a nap!  Perhaps it was the mall trip, or maybe the night before when we watched The Entity (freaky movie with Barbara Hershey before lip implants), but we were tired! Unfortunately, Michael began to feel sick (we believe it may have been the "Izzy flu", a common occurrence when one partakes in the indulgence of buffet food) so we kicked back the rest of the night. 

Today, after sleeping in, we did a few errands then spent the rest of the day chillaxin at my crib (okay, okay, just couldn't resist typing that phrase.)   I was able to catch up on all my overlooked magazines, took a nap, ignored the football Michael was watching, and generally caught up on some much needed R&R.  It was heaven!!

Neverending Friday

Friday found me bright and early hitting the doctor's office for a follow-up appointment.  Rather than spending a $20 co-pay for a short visit, I figured I'd cram a whole list of items in so I got my monies worth.  My visit included:

Medication and vitals check up - everything good.

Shin Rash - I've had an annoying rash that raises it ugly head now and then which I decided needed a diagnoses.  Doctor said it is eczema, which is a side product of asthma.....doesn't it figure.  She prescribed me higher strength hydro cortisone to get rid of it....ahhh, relief!

Elbow Pain - About two months ago I slammed my elbow into my car door....the kind of accidental ouch that makes a person double over, sweat and almost vomit it hurts so bad.  Well, the pain has not subsided so it was time to address it with the doc.  She pulled, she turned, she poked, then she prescribed an x-ray.  Since it can take a day or two, the elbow verdict has not yet been given but I'm anxious to hear what is wrong.  The doctor said it could also still be healing and perhaps I just need to be patient, a virtue for which I'm sorely lacking.

Flu Shot - It's that time of year so figured an injection was due.

After the appointment and x-ray (and picking up a very yummy cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks in the hospital), I stopped at Goodwill to drop off four bags of clothing then made my way home to pick up Jordan and Michael.  We made our way to the local DMV so Jordan could obtain an ID card.  As always, the DMV was full of people; in addition, a combination of smoke and mildewy must lingered in the air.  Ugh.  At least the line was moving quick so we were not there long. 

Leaving DMV we hit another hot spot - the Social Security office.  Yep, it was a hot time in the old town of Kelso on Friday with all these excursions.  Both Jordan and Sam needed another copy of their SS cards; unfortunately, after waiting similar to DMV, Jordan was unable to order a new copy because he only had a paper copy of his ID card. 

The day was flying by!  Our next stop was to drop Jordan off for a job interview at the local casino, a task for which he was so definitely excited!  We waited in the parking lot until he was through.  Michael was able to get a bird's eye view of the Longview locals who appeared to either be homeless or inebriated.  Next to us a small car pulled up with a rather thin, thickly bearded and long-haired man who proceeded to crack his car door, recline his seat, and promptly took a nap, bundled up with his three dogs resting peacefully on or around him.  Rather than a homey Norman Rockwell picturesque scene, it was something out of a Scared Straight documentary.

After an hour, the interview was done; we grabbed Sam from home then promptly turned back around to town.  As if we were government addicts, we made another stop to the Social Security office to get a copy of Sam's card.  Success!!  We then made our way to the restaurant section of Kelso so the boys could apply for jobs.  Yep, too much time on their hands means working time has arrived, although Sam was not too thrilled with this idea.  Work in fast food?  Oh the horror!  The disgrace!  Jordan was in good spirits but Sam was downtrodden, until he found out that most of the places were reluctant to hire under 18-year olds.  That put a big smile on his face! 

Back to the house, dropped off the young men, then back into town to pick up groceries.  By the time we finished up, we were pooped!  Friday had an early start and a late ending but was definitely fruitful!!

TGIF and Happy Birthday!!!

TGIF and Happy Birthday to my sister Eilene!!!  Enjoy your birthday!!!

Just One of Those Days....

Yesterday was just one of those days!  PMS'ing, kid issues, kitchen sink not draining, broken ugly nail.....all of this resulted into a very much needed crying jag on my bed after work.  Ugh!  When it rains it pours and it just seemed all of it fell upon me at once.  Thanks to my Michael for listening while I vented and cried and sniffled on the phone to him about my day.  Here's to getting that over with and having a much better day today!!

Home for the Weekend Has It's Benefits!

This was another weekend of organization!  Saturday morning found Michael and I cleaning my bathroom, including sorting out all the odds and ends packed away in the bottom cupboard.  A variety of discoveries were made, including outdated cold medicine, Metamucil, four spare curling irons, plastic boxes for organization (like that really worked), Afta after shave, and a shitload of brushes.  We followed that up with scrubbing the shower, the sink, and the toilet!  See all the fun we have together?!! 

Today, I opened up the trunk in my room to see what it was hiding.  Lots of books, scarves, and belts, most of which were sorted to allow space for additional blankets.  We then tackled my closet, cleaning out the top, packing up three bags for Goodwill along with two bags of garbage.  Michael organized my belts while I reorganized my shoes; following those tasks we installed higher hooks for my closet drapery so the cloth wasn't sagging on the floor.  Clean bathroom and organized closet - makes a girl feel marvelous!!

And something else we did this weekend......we didn't leave the house once!!  So unusual but so very mellow as well.  I hope I remember how to drive tomorrow when it's time to return to work!!  The good news?  This week is shutdown, which means we can wear jeans or shorts!  Awww, it's gonna be a good week!!!

Go Pink or Go Home!!

Congratulations to Divas Ashley and Christina, who have been working the last several months to accomplish their goal to walk to the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Race for the Cure.  They finished it today - aren't they fabulous?  I love this picture of them, which was taken right after the closing ceremony.  Look at those glazed eyes - poor things!  I'm proud of you two - now go take a nap!!!

And No, They Aren't Alien Boobs!

My recent Food Network Magazine included some Halloween-themed cupcakes.  The one I wanted to try was this:

I purchased the cake mix, frosting, and food color.  The recipe called for fondant so I decided to make it home-made.  Fairly easy recipe but my failure occurred when I attempted to make the shoes.  I was trying to do a riff on the Wicked Witch of the East with ruby slippers.  Try as I might, this just didn't happen so I ended up creating pumpkin-themed cupcakes:

 





 



I made fondant pumpkins with green apple Twisters coming out as the stem; although the plan changed, the cupcakes did turn out pretty fabulous!

TGIF!!!

Pushin the Lanyard Fashion Envelope!

I wear a lanyard every day.  Most are pretty boring - my latest is a bright fuchsia with Croc wording all over it.  It's also looking very faded and dull.  I've been looking for some more lanyards with a punch of color but all I've found are themed around sports or ugly prints.  So I decided to make some!

I purchased ribbon from Walmart - a whole roll was about $1.50, along with silver metal rings.  I cut the ribbon, sewed the ring to the end and voila!  New lanyards!  And such an easy project!  Can't wait to break out the pink leopard model tomorrow!

How to Bitchface

I received the following Style Rookie link from sister Luna.  I've read her blog before but not for a very long time.  Based upon her humor, I should be reading it more often!  Enjoy this How to Bitchface!!

If you are the kind of person to encounter human beings in your life, you probably will find yourself needing a bitchface eventually. A bitchface is a beauty essential for any true lady—the kind of accessory that says, “You are a fucking idiot, why am I still talking to you.” Here, I show you multiple faces for reacting to varying levels of stupidity, including handy step-by-step how-tos.

UNAMUSED  



This is your very basic bitchface. Your canvas, if you will. For the art of bitchfacing, and your many bitchface experiences to come, in your long, long lives ahead of you. Sigh, thinking about the children of our world makes me emotional!

STEP ONE: Look as much like you don’t care as possible. Remember, the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference! So keep a straight face, and don’t flinch. (It always helps me to pretend I am a corpse.) If you’re one of those god-awful people who look all cheerful all the time, whose faces just naturally fall into a smile of any kind, you might have to use a little extra muscle to keep it looking like an emoticon.

STEP TWO: Hold this look until a little bit after the person stops talking. The extra time will make them nervous—they won’t know if you can’t tell the difference between the sound of the wind blowing and their voice, or if they’ve bored you so much that you’ve fallen asleep with your eyes open, or if you just don’t even know how to respond because they are such a flaming imbecile. All of these are positive things. Keep staring. Stay strong. You go, girl.

REPULSED  

This one requires a little more effort than the typical bitchface, and shows the beholder that their stupidity was bad enough to cause you to actually contort your face. Use sparingly. Few people are worth your muscle movement. And you can quote me on that the next time you want to get out of gym.

STEP ONE: Smize.
STEP TWO: Furrow your brow suspiciously.
STEP THREE: Open your mouth ever so slightly like you’re about to eat a mini cheeseburger. (NOT a mini plain burger. Then your mouth will be too small. This hypothetical cheese slice may be mini, but it makes a huge difference.) Crinkle your nose a little so the shape of your mouth is one of utter disgust. May require a little nostril flare action.
STEP FOUR: Here’s the real zinger! When you add the brow furrowing to the smize, your eyes get a bit too small for all of your repulsion to show through. Open them up a leeeeetle more to give the onlooker a flash of ICE. And they’ll be like, “What is this, a 2002 animated comedy about talking animals starring Ray Romano?!"  And you’ll be like:

And then they will never bother you ever again.

“IS ANYONE ELSE HEARING THIS

This one is good for when you’re with a group of people. Just crinkle up your face a bit—the sweet spots are the brow and mouth—and look to the people around you. The person talking will feel like everyone has ganged up on them, even if it’s only the power of your eyes. This also works when you’re not with other people, because they will see that you are so bored that you are utilizing your peripheral vision to look for somewhere to escape to.

“REALLY?”

This one requires a bit of sass, if you’re game. Start with your Unamused look from earlier.

STEP ONE: Raise your eyebrows. (This is WAY different from furrowing; do not confuse the two.) Furrow them EVER SO SLIGHTLY in the middle to take your look from “surprised” to “in disbelief and a little skeptical.”

STEP TWO: Push your face back, like the first half of that head bob motion douchebags do when they’re listening to dubstep on their iPods while walking to class. This will show that you are taken aback. By the talking person’s stupidity.

NOTE: My hand is only there to push my bangs back so you could see my eyebrows, but hands are definitely a useful tool when bitchfacing. Which brings us to…

HANDS

FACE ONE - Cup your hands around your nose and flatten them together. This will look like you are refraining yourself from telling this person the sad, bitter truth about how pathetic they are. Closed eyes will give the effect of increased frustration. Don’t worry too much if it looks like you’re praying. The dumbass will probably think you are praying for someone to save you from this terrible conversation, or for them to shut up, both of which you probably are.

FACE TWO: For added effect, breathe loudly and deeply. Dip your head down and stare up from under the very tops of your eyelids. I can’t explain why this works so well. It just does. Don’t question it. Just live it.

FACE THREE: Ignore this one. I was switching faces and Photobooth was too fast for me. I practice what I preach, and I don’t use extra muscle energy even for you guys.

FACE FOUR: Massage your temples with the tips of your fingers. It will look like you have a headache from the other person’s voice/ideas/existence. Widening your eyeballs and clenching your jaw add a special quality, too.

ACCESSORIES

 A DRINK: You can make slurping noises to show how bored you are. Here I am using milk. (No ice this time.) When this photo was taken I was on my Not Showering Cleanse, as well as my Lie in Bed All Day Diet, in addition to using my Special Designer Skin Cream Made From Organic Skin Grease, and wearing my Sexy Moustache Hat. I warn you now, however, that these little beauty secrets of mine may not work as well for you as they did for me. I also recommend having lots of photos of Justin Bieber in the background so you too look extra bitchfaced in comparison. (For what it’s worth, these are not my JB photos, it is a room in our house with air conditioning.) (I believe I took this photo to express to Anaheed how much I hated someone or something.)

YOUR TONGUE/JAW: If you shift your bottom jaw to the side a bit and move your tongue around inside, you will look extra impatient.

A GUN: Will just add to your general intimidatingness. But I don’t condone violence.
And there you have it! Next time someone is wasting your life with their voice, any look from this rainbow of options ranging from passive-aggressive to aggressive-aggressive will help ward them off. Some might call you insensitive or rude, but to those haters, just shoot any other one of these looks right back at them. If you are continually criticized, just keep bitchfacing. Forever. And ever. (And don’t sue Rookie when you eventually need surgery to be able to smile. For the day you want to smile, you’ll have become one of them.)

Hello Monday!

Oh how my days jumble one into the other! 

After taking the initiative to change my password on my laptop, I promptly forgot it and was locked out!  It took a few days, but a solution was found and finally Friday I was able to get back on line.


Friday evening found my Michael attending the Bonnie Raitt/Mavis Staples concert at Edgefield McMenimins, sitting in the VIP area courtesy of his buddy.  Around 10 pm he was back to his place and we said our goodnights over the phone.  Imagine my surprise when around midnight I awoke to see Michael's face!  I thought I was dreaming but it was actually him, leaning over me to say hello.  What a sweetie!  He also took videos of the concert so I could see how great Bonnie still is.

Saturday found Jordan and I making a visit to see Dad.  It had been a very long time since I'd seen him and I thought it would be nice if Jordy could tag along with me.  We ran into stepmom Arlene at the home, which was a nice coincidence.  We then made our way into the group room where Dad lay sleeping on the couch, covered with an afghan.

Although it was nice to see him, it was also disturbing, especially for Jordan.  Here was a man who used to be full of stories, dominating the conversation, who was now a fragile shell of himself.  We woke him to say hello, not sure if he remembered us or not.  We only stayed a short time; at our departure, Jordan voiced his anger over the situation.  After a long conversation about life, death, Alzheimer's, and the perceived unfairness of life, we made our way over to the DMV as Jordan needed an ID card.

We pulled our number (319) and waited, and waited, and waited some more.  Once up to the counter, the clerk then asked for Jordan's Social Security number.  I searched, Jordan searched, and we could not find the damn number!  The ID card couldnt' be issued without it, so we departed the DMV then sat in the car and tried to get on line with Jordan's computer.  I logged onto TurboTax, where I knew I could find his Social Security number.  Blocked!  It was hot in the car, after Dad's visit Jordan and I were both cranky, and we decided to pack it in and go on home!  The ID card will have to wait for another day.

Once home, Michael and I made our way to Walmart then back home where I made enchiladas for dinner.  We watched the movie Gone (was okay but no classic) then hit the hay,

Sunday was a day for relaxation.  I have such a guilt complex I feel lazy if I'm not accomplishing 202 things during the day; however, I pushed through my guilt to sleep in, go out to breakfast, then home to take a nap.  After Michael and the boys fixed the garage door (yes, the bane of my existence needed a little tweaking), he departed for home.  I popped over to window shop at the Kelso mall before coming home to make dinner, pay bills, balance my checkbook, then paint my nails.  I also celebrated via email my sister Eilene's new hair color (see picture.) I then finished off my remaining weekend by watching the Tyler Perry movie I Can Do Bad All By Myself.  And now it's Monday!!

Have a fabulous week Divas!  A big shout out to Diva Adriana, who is celebrating her birthday today!!!  And another heartfelt thank you to my man - your Friday surprise was memorable and made me so happy!

Eilene's new do

Farewell Labor Day!

As you can see from the lack of writing on my blog, I've had a very busy holiday weekend.  To recap:

On Saturday, Michael and I did a little shopping, including 40% off the lowest marked price at Big 5, which resulted in new shoes for both Sam and Jordan ($12 a piece), Reebox shorts for $11.93, and a sweatsuit for $10.  We thought about cruising to the Oregon State Fair but decided to venture on to the Bonneville Dam Fish Hatchery and Multnomah Falls instead.  The weather was gorgeous and people were out in droves.  It was nice to take a break to hold hands, wander through the nature, and enjoy the scenic Columbia Gorge together. 

Before heading back to Gresham, we stopped at the Troutdale Outlet Mall, where I found a killer deal on two more Vans shoes for Sam along with 50% off the marked price Adidas jacket.  For these reasons Michael refers to me as the Clearance Queen!

Speaking of Michael, I had to endure one of the most embarassing moments of our courtship.  To start off with, I tend to use a lot of toilet paper.  I'm just one of those people where I must feel 100% clean after I use the restroom facilities.   Well, this excessive Angel Soft resulted in the toilet backing up at Michael's apartment.  Yikes!  I went to grab for the plunger and found a black, creased, plastic object shoved in the corner in his bathroom. Was this it?  It didn't look like any plunger for which I was familiar and it frankly scared me! Was it a tank snake?  A weapon of plumbing descruction?   I decided to verify the fact with Michael; when he confirmed, I then took care of the problem.  As they say, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger so my strength came from the frequent ribbing I received from Michael the rest of the weeekend about my little plunger issue!  This moment was right up there with the time we were spooning and I accidentally farted.  To die right there would have been a relief from my sheer embarrassment!

Sunday found me heading home in the afternoon where I kicked back and bonded with the boys, happy I didn't have to work the next day.  After sleeping in some (to me, 7am is sleeping in) I kicked a cleaning agenda into high gear.  Dusting, vacuuming, laundry, kitchen  - I even washed down all the kitchen cabinets, cleaned out a corner cupboard, which hadn't seen the light of day in years, then capped it all off by removing pots and pans then organizing so it would be easier to find a baking sheet or a frying pan or a stew pot! 

After my manic attack with Pine Sol, I took a shower before getting my nails filled at the mall.  The one problem?  The underwear I had on had kept rolling down my butt!  Surely you have experienced this type of thing, where the underwear is not fitting correctly and it slowly slides down one's derriere.  The only solution is to reach your hand down the back of your pants and yank the little devils up.  The  opportune moment to do this was as I was walking through JC Penney to my car.  I made a pit stop in the lingerie section (seemed appropriate) where I made the adjustment, worried that a security person would not think I was trying to abscond with a stolen bra by shoving them down my ass!  Unfortunately, this delicate maneuver ended up smearing one of my newly painted nails!  The good news was my underwear was back in place but the bad news was more than likelymy butt was adorned with pastel pink polish!

After picking up some groceries at Walmart, I zipped home then hit the road back to Gresham, determined to surprise Michael with my return.  And it worked!!  By chance my unexpected return came just at the moment he finished preparing dinner so it was perfect timing - surprise for him and dinner for me!

Yesterday was the last day in my four day holiday weekend.  After grocery shopping, we made our way to the Annual Legacy Transplant Picnic to celebrate Michael's 10-year kidney transplant anniversary.  Michael was transplant No. 176; there have now been almost 1,000 transplant recipients in the last ten years.  Lots of people, lots of food, and it was a good moment to count our blessings.

This morning it's back to the grind, although it's comforting there are only three days of work this week!!  School starts for Sam the Senior on Thursday, so my Labor Day weekend was a good send off to summer with an eye to fall.