Life takes a turn when you realize you are getting together with your friends not for good reasons but for sad ones. Saturday found me in this role. My group of friends, dubbed the
Blue Jacket Divas, found ourselves gathered to mourn the passing of our friend and BJD member Perla's husband, Richard. We have not seen each other in such a long time so it was a bittersweet moment - smiling with hellos and hugs but then shedding tears over such a sad event.
It was a beautiful funeral - songs Richard loved, pictures, sharing of memories, and at the end Perla stood and gave a recap of his disease and passing. I admired her strength as she told Richard's story, her husband of 23 years.
One attendee who shared her story was late to rise. The group was done rising and giving remembrances; it wasn't until the pastor was ready to speak again that she rose her hand. Instead of staying in her seat, she rose and walked to the front. She wore a glittered blue top, tight pants, and, although she wore four-inch high black boots, she was quite tiny. She shared her memories of Richard then went on to speak to us all. She said it seemed she only came in to town to celebrate weddings and funerals and in face she had taken a plan and driven 20 hours for this funeral. She had outlived two husbands and had seen her share of hard times but through it all were her family and friends. She said she didn't want to wait to see people only during the good or bad times - she wanted to seem them all the time and for that she made a promise to visit more often. She expressed how thankful she was for the people around her and how much they meant to her.
I think her speech hit me the hardest. It made me realize that we need to make time for our friends, our family, and to tell them how very much we love them before it's too late. Perla shared that Richard had made his peace before passing and perhaps this is what the glittered woman urged us to do now. Don't wait until you have to drive 20 hours - make a phone call or a quick trip to spend time with your loved ones.
Although it wasn't spoken, I think the next time the BJD's get together it will be for no reason at all, except for a celebration of friendship.
R.I.P. Richard. And much love to our Perla through her sorrow.
