Clogs - The Antichrist of Heels?

As many of you have done, I've often asked my girlfriends for fashion advice and counsel.  How does this look?  Should I wear this shirt and that skirt together?  And what about these shoes?  I have had many a laugh when my girlfriends make comments such as "Girl, those shoes are hideous!" or "Take that off, you look like a troll!!"  So why would a single comment from my man break me down into a blubbering crybaby rolled into the fetal position sucking my thumb?

Whenever I'm meeting my guy, I often spend quite a bit of time trying to figure out "what am I gonna wear?"  I want to impress but look relaxed; I want to wow him but in a subtle way; and I want to fit the occasion.  By in trying to achieve all of these goals, I at times work myself into a sweaty ball of anxiety, changing clothes more than 10 times, which may explain the pile of clothes in my room waiting to be hung. 

Clogs - the Anti Sexy

On Wednesday after work, I was changing into jeans and top to meet my guy for his darts tournament.  I tried on several pairs of jeans but nothing seemed to be working.  On the plus side, I've lost about 25 pounds since my last divorce (yay) but started my period (boo) so I just couldn't find the right jeans to wear.  Finally selecting a pair, I found a shirt then focused on shoes.  Now, my man is fond of heels so I try to accommodate him on most occasions.  You Divas know I own a ton of shoes..and I mean a ton.  So I should have easily been able to find a pair to wear.  Well, in a word, no!!  Black heels and red heels and brown boots and blue shoes...nothing was working.  I finally selected a pair of tan suede clog heels - casual but still in the heel category.

When I arrived to meet my guy, we chatted some before he saw my shoes.  He casually mentioned "clogs...that's not a sexy shoe."  Probably based upon the sweaty fashion show in my room along with my personal PMS, I was bummed.  And of course rather than hearing "not a sexy SHOE" I heard "YOU aren't sexy."  Now, if my diva girlfriends had made this comment, I would have burst into laughter, tossed those shoes in the closet and selected a new pair.  I would never have inferred by their comments that these shoes reflected my own personality or sexiness - they were inanimate objects (and apparently ugly ones at that) which didn't define me.  But when my man said it....yikes, nothing like personally internalizing an offhand comments that simply reflected his own fashion taste.

What is the lesson I learned?  Clothing does not make the man...nor the Diva!  My divaness does not change based upon the occasional poor fashion choice I may make.....I'm still the same inside and my sexiness is not measured upon an external factor.  And I should be able to laugh about my clothing choices with my man the same as I would with my girlfriends.  Bad fashion happens but it does or not define me as a person - just ask Cher, Bai Ling, or Hilary Clinton!!