Monday was going to be in the 90's so decided to take the day off from work. Grabbed my backpack, filled it with towels, wine seltzer, and 50 SPF lotion then hit the road for the river.
Decided to enjoy the Columbia in Kalama close to McMenamins. Lots of beachgoers had my same idea and the sand was full. Found myself a piece of beach, threw down a blanket, and relaxed.
It's so odd what happens when you strip down to your suit. Thoughts run through your head (at least my mind) such as Do I look too fat? Should I be embarrassed? Are those twenty somethings judging me?
At some point it occurred to me that who cares? Who cares if I'm fat. Who cares if I don't have space between my thighs. It's hot and I'm going for a swim!
I waded in the cold water bit by bit, waiting for each section to numb before venturing forth. Then I took the big dive and fully emerged myself. Cold but exhilarating!
Along with swimming at school, when I was a kid, we were lucky enough to have a big pool at home. At no point did I second guess or judge myself before diving in for the plunge. And I wasn't a tiny child especially since I began wearing a bra in 4th grade. I loved and still love to swim. At what point did self doubt enter my world?
As I watched the beachgoers, I saw children of all sizes who didn't give a flying flip as to how they behaved, how they swam, or their appearance. They played, ran, swam, paddled, tossed, and laughed with pure abandon. I found I was jealous of their joy and carefree attitude. I want that back.
I set myself a goal (because that's what adults do) to laugh more, play more, and take the cold plunge into any activity I desire with no limits.
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