The Bigger Meaning of No

It's hard being a mom.  And a dad.  I'm currently going through a period of transition and growth in my life regarding my boys.  In most two-parent homes, there's a disciplinarian and there's the "soft" one.  Well, in this one-parent household I'm the soft one.  But I'm trying to be the disciplinarian.

This means bringing in a little of my management mojo from work and mixing it up with my pushover nature at home.  I'm learning to understand the importance of consistency and consequences.  You come home late - there's a consequence.  You skip school - there's a consequence.  These consequences won't make you happy, son, and you'll try to fight them but it's what I have to do, what I must do to make you responsible. 

And you know what?  It works.  I should have been doing this a long time ago.  The kids have been fairly receptive to my new method of discipline and parenting.  I've learned that because I'm the one in charge, I don't need to give elaborate reasons as to why I say no.  I simply say no.  Or I say no friends over unless I'm home.  Or they need to be home by 8:30.  And they do it!!  Wow....it's been a welcome change!  It's also given me more ease and relaxation because I'm not being manipulated or worked over or barraged with endless pleas or requests.  There is no negotiation - I set the rules and they are followed; if not, a conversation and consequences takes place.  And that's okay - it doesn't make me a bad mother, or a bitch, or filled with guilt.  It's life and what I must do as an effective parent.

Of course, I'm trying to lose bad habits and learn new techniques, which is a growth experience for me.  I'm in as much a learning phase as my boys; it hasn't been easy, but I now see what a great payoff this will bring, not only for me but for my soon-to-be-men.

Thank you to my Michael for being my sounding board and backbone during this period of time in my life. Your input has geared me toward being the best mom I can be to ensure my kids are successful!!