Instead of popping some little pill to get high, your drug of choice is a blue pill called Gas X;
Staying up late no longer means 2am...it now means 10:30;
The thrill of trying a trendy color of eye shadow has been replaced with wrinkle-diminishing hopes for L'Oreal's new night-time cream;
Driving on a sunny day is overshadowed by all the hairs on your chin the blinding light has exposed in your driver-side vanity mirror;
Crest Whitening toothpaste has been replaced with Sensodyne;
Instead of praying that your period arrives, you are now praying that it will finally stop showing up;
Waking up early no longer means 7am. It now means waking at 2am, tossing and turning until falling back asleep right before the alarm sounds;
A memorable evening no longer means Friday night at the bar but instead a classic movie, tacos, and snuggling with your beau (or your dog);
When recapping the above classic movie to co-workers, they appear glassy-eyed and confused when you mention words like "Watergate", "Warren Beatty", or "Sally Field";
And finally, you can now truly relate to the phrase "Youth is wasted on the young."
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