Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Beware - TMI Coming Your Way!!!

It’s a delicate subject but one that’s been a part of my life so here goes.  My period.  Ugh.  I’m knocking on 50’s door and the damn thing has not gone away yet!  What used to last five to seven days now sneaks up me on Day 1, teasing me with its appearance so my only guess (or hope) is that it won’t arrive.  Then on Day 2 it’s Hello Dolly – rushing in as if I was Carrie being dumped upon with a bucket of, well, you know what. 

Unfortunately, Day 2 arrived last Saturday when Michael and I made a journey to Spirit Mountain Casino.  Arriving at the lodge, I bolted from the car, leaving Michael in the dust as I made my way to the nearest restroom.  It was almost like being nine months pregnant when every hour upon the hour involved a bathroom break.  Thankfully, I was wearing dark jeans so evidence of Aunt Flo and her wreckage upon my clothing was not visible.  So much for feeling clean and refreshed!  The rest of the day involved playing slot machines; each time the machine heated up, it was time for another pit stop at the toilet.  Arrrggg.  On top of that, my emotions were running high – I almost burst into tears when I came out of the bathroom and saw Michael waiting for me. 

The highlight of the day was that night when I was startled from a Midol-induced coma in order to make a mad dash to the bathroom to stop the floodgates.  Returning to bed, there lay the tell-tale spots of my predicament.  Ugh.  My saving grace was how understanding and comforting my man is during my times of both embarrassment and shame. 

Thankfully, Day 3 is a downhill ride to normal, although Sunday arrived with a headache that bordered on migraine proportions.  Monday and Day 4 arrived with a lingering headache but my monthly predicament was almost gone.  Now that Day 5 has arrived, all has returned to normal. 

Mother Nature, the time has come to take pity on me and give me an early birthday present of no more visits from Aunt Flo!!  My emotions can’t take it, my clothing can’t take it, and I’m running out of “period” underwear!!!

 

 

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