For example, yesterday I met up with a blind date who treated me to a pizza lunch. After lunch we went for a drive and he showed me the 120 acre farm where he has lived since he was a kid.
Picked up coffee then sat by the Cowlitz River to chat. My stomach had started churning but I was trying to contain myself. That wasn't working. I told him I wasn't feeling well, which could have stemmed from the spicy pizza pepperoni, so I had to get out for some air. I ended up whoofing my cookies on the river bank! And if you know me, you know I am not a quiet barfer - more like a lion roaring as he upchucks from the bowels of hell!! On top of that, the barfing was so bad I wet my pants! And not just a trickle - a full blown, soaking gusher!
Poor guy was coming near me asking if he could do anything as I'm yelling "stay back!" Seriously could it get any worse?!
Finally done, I had him take me to my house. We pulled up and Sam was in the driveway with his buddies. Sam came over, introduced himself, and asked him who was his favorite actor. He didn't have one so Sam had to reply "You expect to date my mom and you don't even have a favorite actor??!" He then told him that I was one in a million, The Mom, and if anyone hurts me there would be hell to pay! This being said as I'm sitting in my wet pants after the guy just watched me barf. It was a surreal moment.
Sam left and I bid adios to the guy, after apologizing for what occurred. He was so nice and even wanted to see me again but we just weren't a match. He was a little too country for me.
Once I got past the embarrassment of the day, I decided that it turned out to be quite the humorous story which will live on in infamy in my tales of dating.
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