Yesterday I Grew A Pair

Yesterday, after much coaching and counseling from Michael, I grew a pair. 

Per my previous post, I was very angry and upset regarding the painting company not finishing my porch and deck flooring.  After reviewing all of the bids I had received, it was obvious that the bid I had chosen included the completion of the porch and deck.  Discussing it on the phone with the company owner, it was apparent he expected more money to finish the job.  Complaining to Michael on the phone, he suggested that he would call the owner to solve the problem.  Of course I jumped on his offer as that would remove me from conflict, one of my most hated activities outside of work.

After sleeping on it, Michael and I spoke Saturday morning and he delivered to me one of life's valuable lessons.  I had to take care of the matter myself.  I had to learn to stand up for myself in my personal matters, demand to be listened to and respected, and communicate with others in order to receive what is rightfully mine.  Caving in was not the solution; ignoring it was not the solution; paying extra was not the solution; and having someone else perform my dirty work was definitely not the solution.

At first I was pissed - why don't you want to fix the problem?  You know how I hate conflict in my personal life?  After thoroughly discussing it, it became apparent that my work attitude needed to infiltrate my personal life.  Toughness, directness, and speaking my mind as I do at work had to be integrated into my personality outside of 9-5.  After initially speaking with the company, I had a blond moment and entertained paying the company more for painting the flooring, which was originally included in the bid.  I snapped out of that pushover mentality and became determined to right what was wrong.

Girding my loins and channeling my anger, I got off the phone with Michael and immediately dialed the painting company owner.  When he asked how the house looked, I told him it was great with the exception of the porch and deck floor.  Taking a deep breath, I went on about how the flooring was included in his bid, he hadn't told me about any exclusion until the job was almost done, and if he thought my being a single, independent woman was a way to upcharge me, he was wrong.  He whined about having to spend more than he bid, had to bring more labor, and had to use more paint than he planned.  I told him that was outside of my control and he was the one who made the professional bid.  In addition, my money is just as important to me as his money, and he was not going to improve upon his lowball bid by increasing what I had to pay.  When I dropped the bombshell and stated that I would have to get a bid from another company to finish the flooring and deduct this amount from his last payment, he caved.  He said he would finish the job for free and do it himself this coming week.  After defining  that finishing the job meant acceptably painting both the front porch and back deck flooring, I agreed to this arrangement.  I made it clear to him that the project needed to be completed 100% to my satisfaction and only then would the final payment be made.

I felt so victorious!!!  I tackled confrontation, conflict and a difficult situation and won!!!  I immediately called Michael and told him about the conversation. He was so proud of me and I was proud of myself as well!!  My pair had sprouted and now there is no turning back!! If Michael had handled the situation, I would have lost out on the feelings of accomplishment, pride and success that I was experiencing.  I was strong, faced a difficult personal situation, and achieved the outcome I desired.  A defining personal moment in my life!!  Thanks Michael for being my support during this situation which forced me to personally grow and stretch.  Painful as it was, it was the right choice to handle this one on my own.